See The Girl

The following poem was written after a VERY hard time in my life. It's a small glimpse into someone you think you know.... This is what poetry is to me... the hammer to a two way glass. #yourewelcome

See the girl with the broken wings
scraped knees and tear stained cheeks
bones weak for the prepubescent weight of poverty
Can still feel the hunger pains when bread and butter was all she could eat
Do you see this fatherless girl?
Whose heart knows nothing but feeding empty promises

Standing too weak to care for itself.
Will you see this girl with a stolen innocence?
Who wears a smile to spare the world of her pain
so you cant envision the struggle shes been thru.
Can you hear what she is not saying to you?
You werent there when she buried her first child
You failed to support her when the system snatched her first love from her grasp.
When she flirts with him...
Its her way of trying to forget the images of her rape
Theyday her pureness was ripped from her && she cried for 57 days
See the girl who bears a scar on her wrist
See the girl who feels too inadequate to be held in your arms
See the girl who doesnt mind bearing your problems
but cries on the inside because in you she cant confide
A girl is finally accepting the fact that God is putting her thru everything

just she can appreciate how far she is going to get.
Can you see her now?
Will you see her now?
Yes you notice her, but do you see her...
Shes your daughter, your friend, your lover, your helping hand
Your roommate, your co-worker, your supporter when nights get colder
She is me.
See the girl.

Letter To My Father...

My smile is the best lie I've got.
Stare deep into the eyes of a fatherless daughter
and behind her colored iris mask
lies a secret strength and vulnerability
tangled in years of simple questions.
What? Why? When? Where?
What caused you to leave me...
Was it an argument?
If so, will you at least accept MY apology?
Why wasn't I enough to fight for?
Was I not the daughter you hope for?
If so, tell me what I can do NOW to improve the infant I was THEN.
When did you decide it was too late to try again?
Because it's never too late for father/daughter dances.
I have a nice stereo system in my apartment.
I've practiced the steps without you,
so don't worry about me standing on your shoes.
WHERE ARE YOU??!!
I know I act like I don't need you
but I don't know you to know if it's what I need or not.
Give me the option.
Many have stepped in and tried to do what you should...
but it's NOT the same.
You were my first rejected love.
The hardest heartbreak I ever experienced.
I think my heart has mended,
but the scar tissue is so deep and ugly.
You know girls who penalize men for their past relationships...
I penalize them for you.
You haven't had your turn yet.
I can't give them what I don't know how to possess at times.
So, what do you need to get to me?
Why is it taking so long?
When are you going to come home?
and where is the love I've been seeking for so long?
I hope this letter makes it to you....
If not...
It wouldn't be the first time my love was returned to sender.

My Final Plea....

I'm sick and tired of chasing
&& then replacing false dreams and hopes.
Wishing and wanting more
but ALWAYS receiving less..
Wanting to give myself to you
yes you... LOVE... is what I request.
And I remember the good old days
when we would kick back && watch the sun rays
kissing the tops of every treetop.
&& Even though our eyes were set ablaze
we didn't mind..
because our hearts were on fire.

I need to feel that desire...

all the joy and pain
LOVE!... don't you hear me screaming your name.
Piercing the ears of the heartbroken,
singing songs orchestrated by teardrops,
wanting all the sappy Ne-Yo ballads to stop

SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE!!!!

without you love... I find no reason to live.
You're wrong if you think I go thru this for a man.
And you're also wrong if you think I'm not doing all I can.
I just want that feeling
of saying your name inbetween I && you.
This is something I'm definitely tired of going thru.
But the Bible says "love is patient..."
So I will wait for you.
&& Love, you better have somethign in store for me
because I've battled too many of your storms
to come up short.
I demand more.
So I guess I'll kick back
&& wait for the clouds to roll out of the way...
So I can see the sun embrace the treetops
&& the day our hearts will never again stray.

Dear John Letter....

Listen,
It's not you... It's me.
You see...
I've allowed you to dictate my outcomes
before giving myself the chance
of elaborating on the plan to take the unbeaten path.
You made the image of conforming a uniformity
and in my naivety
my biggest "success" became my easiest failure
I simply don't think our fabrics mesh well.
The tigers & leopards don't co-reign in nature
So why should our ying & yang debate her.
Don't get me wrong,
You've been the salt to my concrete breaking ice
and the down comforter to my cold nights

...but I've heard of a place where it doesn't snow & the sun always shines....

Now at times this seperation won't feel right
but I must admit you stifled my growth in the midst of your fright.
In your inferior mind
you were afraid to be left behind
..so now i must sever all ties.
Because when we began to collaborate
I lost the choice to even have a voice
... and I like the way I sound.
And though at times you kept me well rounded,
You stopped molding me while time gained his distance.
So even is you miss this
my best wish is to leave you...
...the old me....
between this pen and paper.
No longer can I let my future waver....
The next page is calling....


Thank you for everything
-A Better Me